1.10.2014

why do you need photo of me?!?

Subtle (or not so subtle, if you know her) Mother came into my room the other day and told me that she wanted quote, "a recent photograph of me". Suspicious Daughter thinks mother is creating daughters online dating profile. Suspicious Daughter then comforted by the fact that Subtle Mother doesn't know how to work computer.

hmm... i wonder what she needs a recent picture of me for?!? there was no explanation. no, "oh, i want to hang it on my mirror at work" (she's a hairdresser) or "oh, just in case you decide to run away, i'll have something to put on the milk carton", nothing! I am bamboozled.

have i told you all i live with my mother(1)? ... and i'm single (2)... and i own dogs, three of them (3). they aren't cats but hey, still pathetic! HA! i'm kidding. my life is far from pathetic {cut to me sitting alone in a movie theatre, mrrr}. i have for so long fought the urge to become 'that girl' in the blogging world (4). ya know, the single girl who complains about being single, in a very charming & witty way of course. but now i'm doing it! i'm giving in simply because by the grace of God, He has finally (THANK YOU JESUS) brought me to a place where I am content in my singleness (5) and i am now able to joke about it without sounding completely bitter (ok, maybe some things will sound bitter, but only for comedic effect, promise!).

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DISCLAIMER: i absolutely LOVE going to the movies by myself and there is nothing pathetic about it. to all you people who think that's weird, YOU'RE weird! when you have someone to go to the movies with, you sit there in silence & forget they even exist (unless, who you are seated next to is hot and you want to hold his hand, then you have NO CLUE that a movie is even playing and you are shockingly aware of everyone around you - weird how that works), or you are those people behind me who loudly whisper through every scene, last time i checked, that was RUDE. (reminder: silence is golden & a gun shot is even louder, ya i'm packin', so shut up!) my point, going to the movies by oneself is not pathetic, but if tom hiddleston asked me to join him i wouldn't say "no". 
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  1. due to a very tramatic event (for my mother) i decided to move back in with her to help her financially as best i could. hence, the reason for my home buying endeavor. the other day mother and i were driving in the car - as one does - she looked over at me, grabbed my hand and said "ker, you sure you don't want me to move in with you and rent a room from you when you buy your house?" i turned to her and went "awwwwwe mom................ YA, i'm positive i don't want you to move in with me and rent a room from me when i buy my house (picture the scene in bridesmaids when annie's mom asks her if she wants to move in with her)! 
  2. ...and ready to mingle!
  3. mellie - 15 year old border collie mix who still looks like a puppy and is just like me, single & independent. we went to one of mom's clients' candle parties (remember those? shout out to partylite! woot woot!) and came home with a dog. man, can that consultant sell or what! Gunner - 8 year old german shepherd mix who is the cuddliest & biggest bundle of joy ever! SHE, is a 'she' who has a 'he' name (don't get me started). tuohy (pronounced two-ee) - she is our 6 year old, one-eyed chihuahua who likes to eat poop. ya, she's the problem child! we rescued her from the shelters kill list. not a lot of people want a dog with one eye, i guess. i totally just threw her under the bus (no that's not how she lost her eye. i mean that figuratively) when i said 'she eats poop'. she really is a good dog... with really bad breath. we adopted her right around the time sandra bullock won the best actress academy award for her portrayal as leeann tuohy in the movie, the blindside. mom named her tuohy because she fell in the pool on her blindside...get it. 
  4. i have fought this for so long because i didn't want to develop what i like to call, "Taylor Swift Syndrome" (TSS). you know how taylor swift always writes music about her breakups and relationship failures? well, i didn't want to be known as 'that girl with TSS'. poor taylor, i feel so bad for her. she's almost made a joke of herself. haven't you seen the t-swift someecards on pinterest that say "taylor swift's next song should be entitled 'maybe i'm the problem' "? ya, i didn't want to be surfing pinterest one day and find one that says "kerrin chance's next blog post should be entitled 'maybe i'm the problem' ".
  5. that is not a lie. i can with honest and true certainty say "i am grateful and even joyful for this time of singleness". i wasn't able to do that a few months ago but now i can and i thank The Lord for it everyday! i have not given up on that dream or allowed myself to be bitter about it anymore. i know my hubby will come whenever The Lord chooses to bring him, of that, He has promised and He is faithful. 
now...i'm off to find a recent photograph of myself.

xoxo, kerrin


2 comments:

  1. I honestly dont understand how can such a stunning, fun and smart girl can be single. All I can think is that, Lord is preparing a really special someone for you! Gosh if I was a man, I would already had a ring around your finger. What wrong with the world?!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so cool...single shmingle!

    ReplyDelete

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